"You're sure you can handle the Club?" Marianna asked for the fiftieth time.
Daniela's head continued to bob up and down. Yes, she could handle things. Yes, she'd open and close promptly. Yes, she'd call for help if there were any emergencies.
"I handled it during the Frogwar when you were up in space, didn't I? Plus I blasted the brains out of some gay frogs."
"I still don't believe that one, but... look, we'll just be in Newshregsburg--"
"Where are you going?" Dream interrupted.
"That's who I forgot to tell!" Mari said, snapping her fingers. "Doreen and I are going to the Culinary Arts Academy for a seminar. We're going to learn how to do decorative things with citrus fruits."
"Cool. Have fun."
"Can you baby-sit?"
Dream's smile froze and slowly faded. "You're kidding. After last week's fiasco with those kids?"
Mari sighed. "True."
"Oh, I know... I'll get Tianne to help!" Dream brightened, then tripped off to find Tianne.
"Tianne?" Dani asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
"Who knows how her brain works? I tell ya, the girl could use a drink for once in her life... ah, well. I've got to book. Good luck!" Mari pressed her keys into Dani's hand and flew out the door.
Moments later, she was back in the Club.
"Wrong keys. These are for the Club, those are home and car..."
As her sister took off again, Daniela chuckled. "And she's worried about me..."
Marina was lying on the living room floor having a staring contest with Beylana when Marianna got home. Polly was making faces at Amanda and Jamie through the mesh wall of their playpen. "Back here," Doreen called from the kitchen. "I didn't have any limes to bring to the seminar, so I came over here in hopes you'd have some."
"Manage to rustle up any in that mess?" Mari called back. She ducked into the laundry room. "By the way, I got Dream to watch the kids for the weekend."
"Two limes each... maybe we should bring an orange for good measure? Hey, that's good, she's big enough that they won't be able to tie her up."
"Hey!" Polly cried from the living room. "I represent that."
"Caramba, she's been spending too much time with her grandfather... no, leave the oranges, they're for Polly. She won't take her vitamins, so she's eating more fruit. Remind me to tell Dream."
"Tell Dream," Doreen reminded, finally emerging from the kitchen.
She nearly ran into Mari, coming out of the laundry room with an armful of shirts. "Very helpful, Dori. Which of these should I take?"
"It's a professional seminar. I'd go for the most professional."
"Doreen, I wear t-shirts and jeans to work every night."
Doreen thought a moment. "Well, take the button-downs, and wear them with either jeans or khakis."
"Bueno. I'll be upstairs packing." Mari dashed up the stairs to the bedroom.
"Okay, kiddies," Doreen said, "let's get you ready to go. I take it Dream will be picking you up sometime tonight. Marina, you know how to pack a diaper bag, right? Drop Bey in the playpen. Polly, stop making faces and throw some clothes into a duffel bag."
"Already done, Ma," Marina said.
"You're kidding. Mari is organized for once?"
"No, I am."
Doreen blinked. It was amazing how quickly your children grew up while you were being brainwashed by a frog from another planet...
"Okay, ready to go!" Mari cried, thundering down the stairs.
"I'll call Dream at the Club and make better arrangements," Marina said, calmly pushing the adults out the door. "Have fun and don't worry. Enjoy your fruit."
Doreen was still stunned when Mari joined her in that catatonic state. "Do you feel like you're being... thrown out?"
"Yes, but very, very nicely," Doreen replied. "Let's get out of here before I think about it too much."
They slid into Mari's new Porsche Carrera, and were soon speeding down the road to Newshregsburg with Barenaked Ladies blasting out of the stereo.
Back at the Club, Daniela had declared Luau Night and decorated the place with a coconut, pineapple, and guava motif. Dani herself had found a coconut bra and was wearing it proudly, although it was rather heavy and itchy, over a grass skirt and (of course) platform sandals.
Tchadde was spinning hula records dug out of Mari's basement apartment. Much to Daniela's consternation, he had also decided to play Elvis's Blue Hawaii. Nic stood behind the bar mixing pina coladas and wondered why Priscilla had decided to join the Coast Guard. She was missing some great music. Then he was distracted by Princess Coli's flame-red hair bouncing around as she waited tables...
Ellie was having her own adventure in the kitchen, trying to convince Zachariah that he need not build a fire to cook the ham steaks. Finally, she confiscated the matches and the ham, and started cooking on the electric grill by herself while Zachariah watched. "Look, if you want to be Amish again, just tell me and get out of here!" she cried, exasperated.
"I think I do," he replied. "I'm sorry."
"All I ask is that you be honest with me. Now, go. Go back to your fireplaces and buggies and whatever." As he left through the back door, Ellie breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, no more psychotic behavior. At least, from him, she amended. Then she pulled out the picture of her new boyfriend, to gaze at as she cooked.
Out in the "Queen's Booth," Joanna and George were having a pina colada-chugging contest. Pandora looked on excitedly, bouncing on the seat as a result of the one sip of delicious frozen pineappley drink she'd had that evening. (Okay, have I mentioned everyone now? Phew...)
Massively drunk and depressed, Frogman was slumped in his usual corner seat, flicking a tongue out half-heartedly when a fly chanced a fly-by. He watched the Club patrons half-interested through half-closed eyes. Without Marianna here to irritate, there was no reason for Frogman to be happy; not one reason at all. He decided to stir up some trouble anyway, on the off-chance that Mari would catch wind of it and be, at the very least, annoyed.
He noted Daniela watching the Club from the opposite corner, dancing with herself and whoever happened to pass by on their way to the lavatories. He slithered over to that corner.
"Hi, Frogman, how's it going?" Daniela said, and was immediately distracted by a flying pineapple near the stage. "Geez, they're throwing the fruit."
"You look bored, Daniela. I'm bored. How about we... dance?" The whisky on his breath was strong as he leered and leaned into her.
"Frogman, get away from me." Daniela turned her nose up in disgust and started to walk away. He put his hand on the wall, blocking her path. "I mean it, fly-breath." She turned to go the other way, then realized she was backed into a corner.
"You knew it had to happen sooner or later, Daniela," Frogman slurred.
"Nothing is happening!" she hissed.
"Feisty!"
Daniela's eyes widened in panic as she saw Frogman leaning ever closer to her. She braced herself for contact, then brought her arms up and crossed in front of her, pushing forward and out to throw Frogman off of her. He went flying onto the dance floor with the impact, and several female patrons danced modestly away as he lay there trying to look up their skirts.
Tchadde and Nic finally came to Daniela's rescue, albeit rather tardy. Nic "escorted" Frogman out the door, taking great pleasure in allowing the revolving door to spin around with the frog inside it for a while, before stopping it so that he flew into the gutter outside. Tchadde concerned himself with Daniela's well-being.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Daniela snorted.
"Great timing. I'm going to wash up. I can't get the smell of flies and whisky out of my nostrils." She pushed past him to get into the ladies' room.
Across the room, Joanna, George, and Pandora looked up, rather confused about why there was a big frog stuck in the revolving door. Again.
The Newshregsburg Culinary Arts Academy was an impressive building, but most buildings in Newshregsburg were impressive. However, most buildings didn't have a ten-foot-tall cement carrot standing on its tip in their lobby. Marianna regarded the carrot with a critical eye.
"I think the color should be a bit more orange," she commented to Doreen. Doreen stared.
"Mari, what are you actually thinking about?"
"Shut up, Doreen, I'm trying to be good." She strode ahead to the sign-in table.
"Good, yeah, right," Doreen muttered, trailing behind.
They were signed in quickly, then took their places in the seminar center, an auditorium with wide tiers upon which were fifty two-person workspaces. Only the twenty-five lower-most spots were going to be used by pairs of local restaurateurs and chefs, as, the instructors had said in their ad, citrus fruits were intimate fruits. Mari had commented that the instructors were fruits. (Then again, she did sign up for the seminar.)
The busy auditorium fell silent as the instructors entered onto the stage/kitchen below them. Doreen and Mari turned to the front... and were paralyzed as they laid eyes upon the most delicious twin chefs...
On the next episode of Club Calypso...
Marianna couldn't believe she was having so much trouble carving a line into a lime peel. She'd done it thousands of times before. Colin noticed her trouble and stepped up to the workspace. How embarrassing...
"Here, let me show you." Mari's breath caught as his fingers brushed hers as he took the lime. She was vaguely aware that Liam was helping Doreen just a few feet away.
"I am not falling in love, I am not falling in love," Mari repeated to herself under her breath. Colin looked up from the lime, not sure whether she'd said something. "I just really want to kiss you a lot."