the couch

Season Two, Episode Twelve: Mere Technicalities


"Doreen, what is this I hear about Marina taking off on some boat for the entire school year?" Marianna is leaning against the end of the bar, uncomfortably sandwiched between it and Alan. "Hon, ease off a bit, okay? I'm growing a kid in here."

"Sorry, love of my life," he answers, and steps back a bit, but still keeps his arms around her. Doreen gags slightly before answering Mari's question.

"She always wanted to take sailing lessons, but I never much paid attention to her. Frogman and all, y'know, and I was always broke... So, since she didn't want to go to high school like Inda signed her up for... she signed up for some ocean-liner high school. I remember something like it on a TV show a few years ago."

"She can do that without a parent's signature? I mean, we're a lenient society, but this..."

"Inda thought he was signing papers for Layla:) Public."

"Heh. I don't know who's teaching who, but Polly and Marina sure have got us adults all figured out, don't they?" Marianna leans back into Alan, who wraps his arms more tightly around her stomach. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling deeply, and sighs happily. "I wish they would give me a clue about Alan, here!"

"Excuse me?" he asks, barely looking up from her scalp.

"Well, hon, you've been in town for how long? And I gave that evidence in two weeks ago... and yet... you are still free! I just don't get it!"

"Do you want me to be arrested?" he asks incredulously.

"Well, of course not," she says, "but it would be nice to at least have something decisive happen, instead of living in uncertainty!"

"I don't know, uncertainty is nice," he grins over her head toward Doreen, who gives a wry smile before turning back to her work filling glasses. "Anyway, I like it."

"Do you know what uncertainty I really can't stand?" Marianna says, turning around awkwardly to face Alan.

"What's that?" he asks, and brushes a strand of hair out of her face.

"If you get arrested within the next few days, and you get convicted and everything... we might never get married." Alan takes a moment to consider this, knitting his eyebrows together in concentration, then runs out the door. "Alan! Where are you going?" she shouts after him.

"We're getting married, woman! I'm going to find us a justice of the peace!"

She laughs happily as she watches him leave. "I sure hope he doesn't find that sleazy, leering judge! I'm going to find a better dress, okay, Doreen?"

"Sure," says Doreen, laughing with her trademarked, silent laughs that wrack her slim frame. "Should I clear out the Club, or should I just make sure everyone is here that ought to be, or what?"

"Umm..." Marianna twists up her lips as she thinks. "Call KLPS Radio and tell them to announce that I'm getting married at the Club at seven tonight, and everyone in town is invited who cares to come. Make sure Dream and UPChuck are here to be maid of honor and best man. No offense, Dori, but I've known her longer. Make sure Daniela knows, because after she knows, anyone who hasn't heard the radio announcement will find out. And call Neil and tell him we need him tonight after all, and maybe he could find some nice flowers... oh, no, since I'm running home I'll cut some from the garden. And I'll make sure Polly and Marina... oops, Marina's gone. I'll make sure Polly gets down here. Have Neil stop at Malvone's Jewelers and pick up the rings; they're in my name... DeSka... I never cancelled them after 'Oskar' left town. Just had a hunch. Lucky us, huh? I guess that's it. I'll be back by 6:30. See ya then!" Marianna barely catches her breath from the speech before she takes off running to her car.

Doreen watches, bemused, fills another glass, and picks up the phone. She's got more than plenty phone calls to make.


"Marianna! What is this about you getting married in a few minutes?" accuses Dream as she bursts into the ladies' room at Club Calypso.

"Oh, hey, Dream," Mari says as she pulls a strappy white maternity sundress over her head. "Is this a good wedding dress?"

"You're beautiful."

"That's not what I asked, but that's okay. I'll take it to mean the dress is fine. So that's my dress... now, something old. My hair clip is old. New: the ribbons I attached to the clip. I just bought them five minutes ago. I should have gotten blue, right? But I thought pink would go better with the flowers. Borrowed: Daniela's letting me borrow her pearl earrings. I didn't know she owned anything classy like that... and something blue. Umm... I've got blue flowers on my underwear. Okay, I'm all set. How about you?"

Dream stands there and shrugs, amazed at Marianna's organization, superstition, and general good humor about the whole situation. If Uly had pulled something like this... she thinks.

"Okay, all set I guess. Let's get out there and... get me married!" Mari strides toward the door, and has her hand on the handle, about to open it, when she suddenly stops and turns toward Dream. "Christ, Dream, I'm scared to death. What am I doing?"

Dream puts an arm around Marianna's shoulders. "You're marrying the father of your son, the love of your life, and your soul mate. Get out there and look good doing it."

"Thanks, D." She puts her arm around Dream's waist. "I couldn't do it without you."

Out in the Club, the floor is crowded with patrons, townspeople, and friends. Alan and a Catholic priest stand at stage right, waiting for the bridal party. Suki and Doreen stand on the opposite side of the stage, playing soft music on acoustic guitar and upright piano. Marianna hesitates again at the door, until Dream grabs her by the wrist and drags her into the Club.

Everyone turns as they enter, and Marianna tries to duck her head in embarrasment. Then Alan catches her eye, and she can't keep from smiling and keeping his gaze locked with hers. Dream hands her a bouquet of cream and hot pink roses, interspersed with Queen Anne's Lace and ivy, and tied with a big pink bow. UPChuck gives Mari a quick hug and a grin of encouragement. Doreen and Suki start playing Elton John's 'Blessed,' and Dream and UPChuck (aka, the wedding party) walk across the room and up the stage stairs. Polly follows them, strewing rose petals as she goes. Then... all eyes turn back to Marianna, and the song changes to 'Here Comes the Bride.'

Slowly, ever so slowly, she walks on the petaled path to the stage stairs. She cautiously takes the stairs up to the stage, and pads barefooted toward Alan. He raises an eyebrow as he notices her feet. What's this? She's so cute...

Mari raises an eyebrow back as she notices the priest's collar and vestments, then carefully projects a thought to Alan. A Catholic priest? How did you swing that? We haven't professed to be Catholic since we were kids... well, I haven't. But I'm glad you got him. My family will be happy.

We're just lucky, I guess. Oh, and we have a marriage counseling appointment with Father O'Dreery at ten tomorrow morning. Marianna smiles inwardly at this.

"Dearly beloved..." begins Father O'Dreery, and the rest of the ceremony is a blur to Marianna's mind. Later, Dream will tell her that although her hands shook, her voice was steady as she said her vows. Alan looked perfectly calm, but his voice cracked as he got to the "...till death do us part" bit. And then there was the kiss...

"I now pronounce you man and wife," intones the priest, and Alan gently takes Marianna's face in his hands and kisses her. She tilts her head back, parts her lips, and is lost in the moment. They forget the hundreds of people standing around them, forget their friends, forget the priest, even forget their child due in barely three months. All that matters right now is the closeness, the oneness, and the happiness...

When they finally break apart, breathless, everyone cheers wildly for them. The single women gather around the edge of the stage, and Marianna tosses her bouquet over her shoulder. Not surprisingly, Dream catches it, indicating that the very next wedding in Calypso Beach will be hers and UPChuck's. Then Mari and Alan head out the door, to a limousine (courtesy of UPChuck) that will take them to his house in le Foret des Reves for a quiet evening by themselves. "I never thought," Alan says to UPChuck as they shake hands, "that I would be watching a movie on my wedding night."

"It's only because you got a head-start on the usual activities," UPChuck grins.

"Come on, Uly, we have to help Doreen and Neil run the bar!" says Dream, dragging him back into the Club. "Have fun, Mari! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Bye, Dream!" she calls as she slides into the limo. "Hey, Alan- did you happen to get a wedding license anytime today?"

"Oh, no," he says. "I think we have to have blood tests or something, too... don't worry, my angel, it's a mere technicality. We'll take care of it tomorrow."

"I hope so..." she says quietly as she leans into him. "I love you."

"I love you more..."


To: INett@musicman.com
From: Marina_Nett@bigboat.edu
Re: School things

Daddy, I want to go home!! At first, everything was tons of fun- exploring the ship, decorating my bunk, meeting the captain... but nobody has talked to me since orientation, my roommate is always out with someone, the food is awful, and I didn't realize it before but I get seasick! And I miss Polly and the juice bar and you and mom and I miss land and grass and animals that breathe through noses... oh, please please please Daddy, can't I come home? We're docking on Atlantis on Friday. Send a helicopter or even a Cessna, just get me home!

To: Marina_Nett@bigboat.edu
From: INett@musicman.com
Re: Re: School things

Not on your life, kid. Take some Dramamine.

"First she signs up for this without my permission, tricks me into giving permission, makes me spend thousands of dollars in tuition... and now she wants to come home?!" Inda cries, exasperated. He is sitting at the bar at Club Calypso, venting to Marianna as she tends bar.

"She'll get over it in a week or two," says Mari absently, more concerned with the bar than with Inda's problems.

"I know that!" he says. "But she emailed Doreen, and now she's on my case about letting Marina come home. Honestly, Marianna, I can't afford to do this."

"She has to learn to be on her own. You're absolutely right."

"No, Mari- I literally can't afford to send a helicopter. I would if I could, but... Do you realize what my losses were during that Frogwar? And I had to postpone "Torturo," so the production costs went up. And then the tuition for that boat-school... I'm broke, Marianna. Broke."

Mari finally pays attention to Inda, and her jaw drops to the floor. As she gathers her jaw back onto her face, she tries to form a coherent thought. "Broke?" she asks. Well, that's pretty much coherent, if not a complete sentence.

He nods in reply, and immediately clams up as a group approaches the bar. Doreen, Tianne, and Dream are giggling about some random thing, and Mari feels a tinge of jealousy as she watches her still-single, still-thin friends discuss parties and inhale drinks. Then she catches a glimpse of Alan, across the room relating a story to UPChuck, and she remembers why she isn't single or thin anymore.

They've only been married for a few days, but Marianna and Alan have already settled into a comfortable routine. They live in Mari's house, and every morning at sunrise, Alan drives a battered pick-up truck to his property in le Foret. Later in the morning, Mari will take him breakfast, and they'll return to town together to clean up the Club before it opens for lunch. Then, a nice afternoon together (well, semi-together) as Marianna runs the Club and Alan entrusts his llamas to a few dedicated farm-hands. It works quite well for them, and looks as if it will work well at least through the rest of Mari's pregnancy.

"Marianna, that's a blissful look on your face," comments Doreen as she sits down at the bar. "Wow, it's nice to be on this side of the bar for once, and not serving drinks to tables, either."

Mari half-smiles at her waitress. No, she thinks. I'm going to make her a manager. She deserves at least that, since she ran the Club while I was stuck in June. That'll mean a salary, more time off... she'll like that. "You guys having a nice night?" she asks, watching three manicured left hands, bedecked with engagement rings, drumming on the bartop.

"You betcha, we're having girls' night out. Too bad you had to work, Mari," says Tianne.

"Yeah, too bad," echoes Dream. "We saw a movie, and now we're going to have dinner... and then we're going to hang out at Dori's until whenever. Uly wants me at his house by midnight though- he's calling me Cinderella."

Marianna laughs politely, inwardly insanely jealous and feeling quite left out. It's not like this hasn't happened before, when she was just becoming a success, and was busy at the Club. The other three would always be having sleepovers and such that she was just too damn tired to go to at the end of the night. And she's hardly ever been able to stand Doreen and Tianne anyway- especially Tianne's evangelism. But somehow... the pain isn't dulled as she gets older, wiser, more jaded.

"We're going to grab a table, okay? We just wanted to say hi," says Tianne as she starts walking away from the bar. Dream waves over her shoulder as they head to a table stage-side, and Doreen calls hello to a passing waitress, already putting Mari out of her thoughts.

Alan glances at Marianna as a matter of routine; he worries about her working so hard while she is pregnant. When he sees the troubled look on her face, he cuts short his conversation with UPChuck and strides over to the bar. "What's wrong, luv?"

"Oh, nothing... they didn't invite me to girls' night out."

"That's hardly nothing," he says, a frown crossing his face. "If your friends are ditching you..."

"I'm working tonight."

"Still... well, don't be sad. You've got me, right?"

"Right... at least, until they arrest you," she smiles sadly.

"Count your blessings," he says before kissing her on the nose. "Now," he says as he works his way down her face, over her lips, chin, jawline, and down her neck, "you... are going... to work... and then... we'll go home... and you... are going to get... the best massage... of your life..."

She giggles, then pushes him away playfully. "Okay, hot stuff, I've got a bar to run for a few hours more. You... are going... to talk," she whispers as she kisses her way from his mouth to his ear, "to UPChuck... and be sociable... and I'll see... you... later." She flicks her tongue into his ear, which only encourages him to attack her neck, eliciting a mild shriek.

"Augh!" he cries. "My ear! Don't shriek when you're that close to my ear, I'm deaf now."

"Sorry- now, git!" She laughs as she turns back to her scandalized customers. "Oh. Sorry that," she says as she notices the looks on their faces. "Here, free beer to erase the memory."

Dava is among those at the bar, and Mari is surprised when he projects a thought as he says, "Hi." I can tell you why Alan hasn't been arrested yet.

Oh, can you? she projects back.

I can. It's on a technicality. The man on the tape is named Oskar. The man you just married is Alan. There is no proof that they are one and the same.

That's ridiculous... he's admitted it since then, anyway.

On tape?

Nooo...

He's safe. Don't push it. Let him know, though. And make sure the surveillance system is off when you tell him. Better yet, project.

Daniela's still off the hook?

Of course. We proved that she didn't do it.

Marianna shakes her head in wonderment. What kind of crazy homicide division, crazy justice system, doesn't pursue its only reasonable suspect in a homicide? Then she realizes- one that doesn't care about its victim... or one that cares about the potential victims of the arrest. Mac could definitely be behind this. New head of homicide, still shows an interest in me and Polly, on occasion. It's Mac. I should be angry, but, hey. It's good luck. Why knock it? She returns to the real world from her hectic thoughts, and notices a backlog of customers and orders left by the waitresses. Wide-eyed and frantic for the first time in days, she calls back to the cook- tonight, Neil has taken over the kitchen. Apparently, he has no ability whatsoever to cook, hence the backlog.

"Sorry, Mari, I really am trying to control these little grease fires!"

"Grease fires?!" she cries, and is off and running to save the all-metal kitchen from a complete meltdown.


"Oh, Alan," Marianna says as she eases into her bubbling hottub, "what a crazy, weird, amazing day..."

"Those were some interesting grease fires, for sure," he laughs. "Who knew that Neil, bartender extraordinaire, can't cook to save his life?"

"I should have asked, but I just figured... luckily, very few people ever eat at the Club. And the smoke didn't bother anyone at all, except Daniela, and it didn't bother her until I mentioned fires and she realized it was actual smoke, not from the smoke machine."

"Do you have a smoke machine?"

"I used to. We took it out when you guys put in the hydraulic lift, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." He moves behind her in the hottub, a better position for him to work the kinks and knots out of her back. As he plays his fingers gently, teasingly, yet firmly across her shoulders, she sighs happily and starts to lean back. "Nein, Madchen, I can't work the kinks out if you lean back like that."

"But I thought you liked me kinky," she teases.

"Ha! I do, but not while you're pregnant. I like you relaxed and happy right now."

"Oh, come on... what's kinkier than sex with your pregnant wife?"

"Don't tempt me..."

She turns around to face him, kisses him teasingly, barely letting her lips touch his skin. Somehow, she's figured out how to keep her stomach out of the way as she slowly tortures him.

"No," he protests weakly, "I don't want to hurt the babies."

"You won't hurt- what did you say?"

"I said I don't want to hurt the baby."

"No, you said babies." Marianna sits up straight. "You used the plural. Why did you do that?"

"An accident, it just popped out."

"I believe there's a reason for everything... we're going to have more than one."

"You're taking this slip of the tongue as a premonition?" He looks at her disbelievingly. "You've got to be kidding."

"I'll see the ob-gyn tomorrow... now, where were we?" She drapes herself over him and wraps her arms around his neck, which puts her head in exactly the right position to whisper seductively into his ear. "Even if you don't want to hurt the babies... at least let me make you happy..."

"We'd better get out of this hottub so's you don't drown..."


"Fun night last night?" Dream asks as Marianna drops into a chair at Club Calypso and cradles her head in her hands.

"How'd you know?" she mutters, actually quite interested in Dream's info-source despite her over-tired, cranky tone.

"You have that look in your eyes."

"I thought it was called 'tired,' but you're the expert on eyes."

"Mari... there's something else, and you're blocking it."

"Don't probe."

Dream backs off, physically and mentally, and starts setting up for the lunch wave. At Doreen's request, she is helping out today. Actually, it is at Alan's request, since he's asked Doreen to encourage Mari to take more time off. Everyone is concerned about her health, as she has been putting in more hours than ever lately with the new lunchtime hours. Doreen and Neil have been trying to take time off together, as well, and with the exception of Priscilla, no other employees are as trusted by Mari as those two. And since 'Cilla can't cook or mix drinks... Marianna is left with the 'background' work. Alan helps as much as he can, but seems to be more disposed to downing drinks than to making them, much like Daniela, who also is pitching in.

Dream has minor abilities in cooking and drink making- at least, she has the common sense and good luck to do a reasonable job on most things. She's also very concerned about Marianna's health- especially this morning. But she won't pry, only help, and, as she tells herself while setting chairs upright on the floor, Mari will talk when she's good and ready.

Damn straight, thinks Mari as she drags her head off of the table and blinks her eyes in an attempt to wake up. I don't think anyone should know about this 'other one'... just in case...

"Finally joining the living?" questions Doreen as she swipes the bar one more time. "I'm opening the door in thirty seconds."

"Right on time," Marianna says groggily. "Y'all will be okay, right? I'm going to head downstairs to the apartment and take a nap. If Alan comes in, tell him I want to talk to him, and it's okay for him to wake me up."

"Will do," says Doreen as she watches Mari walk into the kitchen and toward the apartment stairs. She casts a worried look at her friend, but holds her tongue. The only thing worse than a stressed Marianna is a confronted Marianna. And maybe Dream will be able to fill her in later on.

Doreen walks to the revolving door at the front of the Club, unlocks that and the newly-added handicapped entrance (Mari threw a fit when the construction company said they couldn't make the access ramp out of the same marble as the front steps- they quickly found the proper marble), and walks back to the bar to await the first customers. Not surprisingly, Alan is the first one to walk in. Rather, he flies in, taking the outside steps in one stride, and nearly tangling himself in the door in his rush to get inside.

He looks quickly around the room, spots only Doreen and Dream, and asks confusedly in their general direction, "Where's Mari?"

"Downstairs. She's napping, but she says it's okay for you to wake her up. Alan, I gotta warn you," Doreen says as he moves past her toward the kitchen, "she's super-stressed, tired, cranky... I think she really needs you right now."

He takes the stairs two at a time, down to the basement apartment, and runs through the tiny kitchen to the bedroom. Mari is sprawled on her back on the bed, her face flushed and tear-stained. She barely moves as he comes in, but gives a psychic nudge to acknowledge his presence.

"Mari," he says quietly, intensely, "I was worried. You said you'd call me, or drop by after your appointment."

"I'm sorry. The exam ran longer than I thought it would, since we had to check everything possible... damn hunches..."

"Then it's nothing?"

"There's something... I'm not sure if it's good or not, yet."

He moves to the bed and perches on the edge, tracing her jawline with his finger. "Please... just tell me..."

"It's twins... there's a girl... she's been hiding behind Jamie."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She's okay for now. She's a fighter, the doctor said. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have lasted this long."

"But there might be complications later?"

Marianna's eyes fill with tears. "I'd love her just the same... but she might not develop properly. And if they're born premature, which is possible..."

"Don't worry... they'll be alright. Call it a hunch." He leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Do you want to name her?"

"I have... Amanda."

Alan nods. Mari hardly ever talks about her best friend from school, but he's found out about Amanda from Dream and others. Amanda was a fighter, until she was run down by a drunk driver. This little girl of theirs will be a fitting tribute to the other Amanda's spirit. "She'll be beautiful- just like her Mommy."

"I need you so much right now, Alan, just to hold me... just hold me..."

He obliges, cradling her in his arms and stroking her hair as she cries her way to sleep.


Next time...

See Polly's side of Marina's crisis and Mari's marriage to Alan,
Dream and UPChuck settle down and get to work on their wedding plans,
and Marianna and Alan try not to worry about the fate of their Amanda.